i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
