I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
