Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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