I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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