addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
