If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
