just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
