Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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