oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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