kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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