So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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