Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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