May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
