Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize