took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
