I think scott just propositioned me for sex
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
