We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
