you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
