Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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