so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
