carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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