Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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