Screwed.edu
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
