Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
