i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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