Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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