I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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