But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
