did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
