Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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