I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
