lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
