i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
