anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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