Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
