Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
