Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
