Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
