Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
