He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
