people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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