Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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