Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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