I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
