Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
lol hangovers are for mortals.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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