Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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