Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
