I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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