In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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