Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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