The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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