i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
