You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize