my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love you. Go after that dick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
