i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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