You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
not ubering you a puppy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
