He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
