Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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