I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
