just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
