Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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